Leading Minds English, Composition Beyond Creativity

Composition Beyond Creativity

Knowing the students thrive on critiquing ideas and thoughts based on the facts they gather, Neumind enjoys finding ways to help the students learn by teaching them how to establish criteria to judge the ideas and thoughts related to the topic they are studying.

We guide them in learning how to apply these criteria to critique whether the ideas and thoughts are rational, logical and reasonable.

Awarded Prize for Brave Deed

On my table, there is a silver plate that I had received from the police. It is very shiny. Whenever I see it, I will always think of an incident and I feel proud of. It was a brave deed that I did two months ago. It was after school and I was walking home.

Two months ago, I was walking home from school. Suddenly, I saw three men, an old man and two adults, carrying a bag. They went into a nearby forest. My curiosity was piqued. “What is in the bag?” I thought as I followed them stealthily.

When the men reached a rather bare spot in the middle of the forest, they stopped and put the bag on the grass. Then, they talked loudly about something related to money, “How much?” the old man asked.

“Three million!” the first adult said. The other adult wearing a cap just stood behind the old man and was absolutely murmured and utter not a single word.

The old man shouted, “Open the bag!” The other adult quickly opened the bag. I saw a boy struggling in it. “Robinson?” I was surprised. “So, rich boy? Tell me, how much money do your parents have?” the first adult asked.

“I will not tell!” Robinson shricked. The old man kicked Robinson and told him angrily, “Just tell! Otherwise, You will suffer!”

I was petrified. Shivers ran down my spine. Beads of perspiration trickled down my forehead. The old man continued, “Rich boy, so you do not want to tell right? Alright, the ransom will raise to twenty million!” “But, Boss, three million is enoughfor us to survive.” the first man argued. “Shut up!” the old man yelled. Soon, the argument became heated. The old man and the first adult quarrelled and the tension built up.

I wanted to run away from the scene but I was rooted to the ground. “What do I do now?” Anxious thoughts raced through my mind. Suddenly, my mind lit up. I quickly whipped out my mobile phone and called the police.

Finally, five policemen appeared at the scene. The three kidnappers were alarmed and they tried to fight with the police. But, the unarmed men were not a match for the CID. The policemen besieged them and pointed their pistols at them. The kidnappers had no choice but to surrender. One of the policemen thanked me for helping them to catch the kidnappers. They then walked away with the handcuffed kidnappers. “Thanks, Benny.” Robinson said gratefully. “Welcome,” I replied.

A few days later, I received a silver plate from the police. I felt extremely excited and happy. I felt proud too as I had done a brave deed.

Benny Ong
Primary 5, 23 Aug 09

My Rewrites …

Night would fall in about two hours. Sean had to get out of the forest or spend the night with the creepy crawlies. He had been hiking on the trail but had taken a wrong turn. Now, he was hopelessly lost.

A low murmur of voices caught his attention. In a distance, he spotted three men discussing a matter. Sean crept towards the safety of a tree in order not to be noticed.

The men were seated in a circle, next to a quivering sack. A scruffy bearded man, clad in a singlet and baggy pants, sat cross-legged on the ground. With an evil glint in his eye, he held out two fingers to indicate to the others that they should ask for a ransom of two million dollars.

Seated on a stone to his right, his clean-shaven accomplice shook his head and stuck out three fingers instead. “No, that multi-millionaire is filthy rich! He can jolly well pay!” He shot a cold glance at the sack as he spat out, “He will be sorry that he fired us!”